Friday, October 21, 2011

Rapture Helmets Are Going Fast!

Today only I am selling the new and improved "Rapture Helmet" for the low, low price of $69.99 to protect your head against any debris that you might encounter as you ascend at warp speed. Guaranteed to withstand impact from meteorites, most airplanes, tree branches, and up to 44 floors of ceilings, should you be in the lobby of a skyscraper when the trumpet sounds.

For an extra $29.99, you can ad the carbon-fortified, 360 visio Face Shield, which will enable you to see the entire rapture without fear of gnats or other small objects clouding your vision.

No checks, cash and credit cards only.

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