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Do you remember the prophecy, "There will be Ralph and rumors of Ralph"? Well, here is a bit of wit that was found in yesterday's e-zine called RUMORS, by Ralph Milton. I shared them with some friends yesterday over dinner and got some great reactions. I'll post some pics for you.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

* I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be

an optical Aleutian.

* She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

* The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

* No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

* A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

* Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

* A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

* The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

* The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

* A backward poet writes inverse.

* In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

* Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Thank you for listening. Tomorrow, back to the show!

Ralph Milton's RUMORS is a free Internet e-zine for Christians with a sense of humor. To Subscribe: Send an e-mail to: rumors-subscribe@joinhands.com and don't put anything else in the e-mail.